newly sober: skydiving
we've hit terminal velocity, folks
i hate physics.
nor does it come to me easily. i have memories of crying at the kitchen table as my brother or my dad or the Caltech grad that my parents hired to tutor me trying to patiently explain introductory physics concepts.
no tutor, brother, or father could crack the egg.
except during the egg drop experiment— in which each student made a baby-proof vessel to drop a raw egg off of a roof in the hopes that PHYSICS would keep it from cracking—
that egg cracked.
yellow yolk splattered across the cement like a Pollock painting, as other STAR STUDENTS whose parents were Caltech Professors or rocket scientists at JPL had constructed vessels that successfully protected their eggs. i had no self-protective impulse nor did i put much time or energy into my contraption, whereas they had.
theirs landed safely, whereas mine did not.
at the end of my freshman year of high school, i chose to “study” in my parents’ jacuzzi for my year-end final because it felt easier to give up than to try.
we can all guess how that turned out for me (hint: not so good).
but there was one concept that, for whatever reason, amidst the tears, i understood easily and immediately:
why am i thinking about terminal velocity?
because 143 days ago the universe said: WE DOIN SOMETHING DIFFERENT, BITCH. GOOD LUCK! and i was shoved out of a metaphorical airplane, and it has pretty much been a sober free-fall since then.
but at a certain point, in my early recovery, i became used to the rate at which i was falling. and just when things got comfortable, i decided:
just a little.
because that is what i know how to do best.
no idea what terminal velocity is? fear not, i’ll break it down for you.
and i’ll even tell you why i’m even talking about terminal velocity at all.
Also, the 2022 Summer session of Artist’s Way starts June 5 & 6, 2022!
(reminder: all paid subscriptions to newly sober this month will be donated to various organizations that help people seeking abortion care receive it. your paid subscription allows you to read more about why the hell i’m talking about terminal velocity while helping folks get life-saving health care. because no matter what you believe, having a child should be a personal choice. no one should be a parent before they’re ready.)