stubborn little girl sitting in a scottish tree

i still refuse to get down

DAY 648

my brain has been hella loud— not in the fun, generative way. but in the *standing in the shower after a morning of being a terrible mood for absolutely no reason and then the idea of relapsing pops into my brain, and i play out that scenario, and i realize that 21 months isn’t that long and that i could go out at any point which is terrifying* …